Narcissism, a personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance and an insatiable need for attention and admiration, is often associated with men. However, women can also exhibit narcissistic tendencies that manifest in different ways.
While the motivations behind male narcissism have been widely explored, understanding what turns on female narcissists remains a lesser-known territory.
Delving into this topic will not only shed light on the unique factors that fuel their egos but may also challenge common misconceptions about gender and narcissism.
15 Things That Turn On A Female Narcissist:
Narcissists have complex personalities, even more so when they are female. So, what turns on a female narcissist may surprise you.
1) Flattery And Compliments:
Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance, so they need excessive attention and admiration from people. Your narcissistic girlfriend will need that strong admiration from you.
Flattery and compliments are the sweet melodies that ignite the inner fire of a female narcissist. These individuals thrive on admiration and flattery, using it as fuel to feed their insatiable egos.
Generally, a regular woman may find it over the top and cheesy when she is showered with many compliments; she may even feel that your compliments are insincere and not genuine.
But for a female narcissist, she wants this level of praise. She wants you to compliment her as much as she thinks she deserves (that can be a lot of compliments). If you don’t do it, she doesn’t feel happy.
It’s not just about hearing that they look beautiful or receiving praise for their accomplishments; it’s about being recognized as superior to others.
Beneath the mask of arrogance lies an intense fear of not being enough or losing their perfect image. Compliments constantly reassure them that they are worthy of worship and appreciation.
To keep them enchanted, one must skillfully navigate this delicate dance between genuine admiration and stroking their fragile self-esteem just enough without triggering any doubts or suspicions.
While it may grant you temporary access into their world, where you become an object of fascination, one wrong move can shatter the illusion entirely.
Thus, walking this fine line requires immense tact and careful navigation to keep them intrigued without awakening the beast within.
Also Read: How To Tell If A Woman Is A Nymph?
2) Constant Admiration And Validation:
Constant admiration and validation are like fuel for a female narcissist’s ego. She may appear confident and self-assured to the outside world, but behind closed doors, she needs constant reassurance to maintain her sense of worth.
It is through receiving admiration and validation that a female narcissist feels powerful and superior to others. She craves attention, compliments, and recognition of being idealized by those around her.
A narcissistic person wants to hear how special they are, irrespective of gender. A female would like to hear how gorgeous she is, how special she is, how smart/ funny she is, how great she looks in a particular outfit, and how great it is to be with her.
In her mind, this worship-like treatment reaffirms her belief in her own exceptionalism and reinforces the illusion of perfection she tries so hard to project.
If you want to turn on a female narcissist, you should get along with her ego and keep those compliments coming regularly; the more excessive, the better. However, constantly feeding a female narcissist’s need for admiration can become exhausting and unsustainable for those who surround her
3) Following Their Commands Or Suggestions:
Female narcissists love to command and control men. They may give you unwanted and unasked advice or command about something to you and expect you to do it.
When you follow their request and obey them, then the narcissist in them will feel a sense of victory and accomplishment.
It is no exaggeration if we say they treat other people like pets. So, if you act like a well-trained one, they will be more than pleased with you. But you have to be careful as the story won’t end here. They may continue to treat you like a pet no matter how good you are.
Female narcissists constantly demand you prove your loyalty and obedience. They may even put you to the test to check this, even in front of others, and they boast about your devotion to others like they are proud of their pet.
4) Letting Her Boast About Herself:
We all love to talk about ourselves, and now imagine narcissists; it will be their favorite topic. As they tend to make everything about themselves, they are self-obsessed to talk about them in every conversation.
For a female narcissist, the same desire exists tenfold, and it will be a turn on for her if you can go along with her “the me show.”
People with narcissistic personality disorder will create their own world the way they want it to be, and they get ecstatic when they meet people who fall for the fake image they have built over the years.
She will be flattered if you show interest in every little thing she says or does but will quickly get bored if you want to share the limelight.
5) Material Possessions:
Material possessions and status symbols have long been associated with societal success, but they hold a compelling allure for female narcissists.
These individuals see their belongings as extensions of themselves. From luxury handbags to designer clothing and expensive jewelry, these women surround themselves with luxury to validate their self-worth.
The constant need to display new acquisitions and outdo their peers reinforces their sense of superiority while fueling envy from those around them. However, beneath this obsession lies a profound emptiness – a void that can never be filled by accumulating material possessions or feeding off other people’s jealousy.
By realizing that these individuals use luxury items as masks for their insecurities, we can redefine our own measures of success beyond superficial markers such as wealth or appearances. True fulfillment comes from within oneself rather than external validation through material possessions.
Also Read: Benefits Of Dating A Widow
6) Social Status:
As narcissists are obsessed with material things and self-image, social status is very important to them. As they believe that the status of the person they date reflects on them, female narcissists always prefer guys with strong societal status.
For narcissists, nothing matters to them but their own image. So why would a female narcissist show any interest in you if she doesn’t benefit anything from your relationship? It could be wealth, power, respect, or physical strength; there should be something to turn her on.
Women are deeply attracted to certain qualities at a biological level, and men who possess these traits are far more attractive to any woman, even to narcissists. Guys with status are like bigger prizes to conquer, and desperate guys don’t boost her ego.
7) Expensive Gifts and Presents:
Narcissists get validation from material things. So, gifts have a significant impact to impress them, particularly when they are expensive. They see that as proof of your love and affection when you gift them expensive presents.
They use this opportunity to show off and brag about all the things you do/ give to her and how much you love her because she is worthy. They want people to talk about her and her gifts; it’s a big turn on for a female narcissist when you shower her with exorbitant gifts.
Female narcissists may even feel upset and offended when you don’t gift them any expensive stuff.
They will fight/ quarrel for no reason and blame you for absolutely nothing. When you want to make amends and are about to make some peace talk, they demand some outlandish gift while kissing you, so you can’t say no.
8) Being In Control:
Narcissists like taking control as it’s their way of feeling powerful. They crave power and respect, and in order to be respected, they must feel powerful.
They love to tell others what to do as they see other people as subordinates and just as puppets. So, in their eyes, you are there to serve their needs. She will feel important and appreciated if you let her know that you don’t mind taking her lead.
At least give her an illusion that she is the one who is in control of the relationship; even in the smallest ways, she will get feelings for you as it makes her feel in charge.
To turn on a narcissist, make her feel like she is the center of your world. These women are drawn to relationships where they can assert power and control.
So, a female narcissist may look out for men who are submissive and easily manipulated. She may even encourage you to act like a dog when you are intimate, such as barking “sweet little woofs.” They will be delighted by the fact that you are still under their spell.
9) Being The Center Of Attention:
Being the center of attention is a drug to female narcissists, and they will do whatever it takes to keep that high going. They thrive on validation, admiration, and adoration from others, constantly seeking external sources of approval to fuel their fragile ego.
With their charm and carefully crafted image, they can make anyone feel special and important – as long as it serves their own agenda. But beneath that charismatic façade lies deep-rooted insecurity and a constant fear of losing control over the spotlight.
Every opportunity for public acclaim works like magic to turn them on. Also, being idolized fuels their sense of grandness, boosting their fragile self-esteem.
Female narcissists employ various tactics and manipulative behaviors to maintain their position at the center stage.
10) Playing Games:
Narcissists are good manipulators who enjoy getting what they want when controlling someone else. Female narcissists get a turn on toying with others’ feelings.
The ultimate game of cat and mouse can give her immense pleasure. You might find her hot and cold; she may push you away and pull you close again. This abusive cycle constantly keeps you wondering where you stand in this relationship and feel threatened.
Some ways of mind games from which they deserve pleasure are:
- Gaslighting you: Makes you question and doubt your own thoughts and feelings.
- Guilt tripping you: Playing the victim card and seeming innocent to make you feel bad.
- Love bombing you: Coming on really strongly at random moments
- Triangulation: Using a third person to make you feel excluded, confused, and create jealousy.
- Ignoring you: Either ghost you or totally ignore you for longer periods.
- Punishing you: If you do something against her liking, she will criticize you, cold shoulder you, or even punish/ take revenge if you are too submissive.
Narcissists love it when others believe the fake image they have created for themselves. As women are emotional beings, they will be more influenced by these traits if they are narcissists.
Female narcissists have their own little world where they are ‘Queen Bee’ and enjoy living in this delusion. They will create and make others believe in their fantasy land. They may lie about where they live, study/ work, about their family to get the upper hand.
People with these personalities also enjoy fantasy in the bedroom to strengthen the self-image they are trying to maintain.
Narcissists, how best they try to show off as the best in the world, but deep down, they are actually incredibly insecure, and their lack of self-esteem leads to taking validation from outsiders. As they cannot handle vulnerability, things can get ugly when it doesn’t feel enough.
12) When You Depend On Her:
A female narcissist wants to feel that you want her and need her more than anyone else to boost her ego. She will like it when she feels that you depend on them, as it makes her feel secure. She may even do things for you to make your life easier and lure you into the trap.
It is easier to control someone when they are dependent on you. This is why narcissists seek someone prone to codependency, which is termed as “Narcissistic supply” in psychology.
In most cases, narcissists are not properly attached to or were insufficiently loved in their early childhood; thus, they learn to survive in relationships with material gains, like in the barter system, without any human connection.
Also Read: How To Tell An Older Woman You Want Her?
So, narcissistic supply is a form of payment by others to be in a relationship with Narcissists.
They will make you depend on them and get the thrill of their lives by telling others how incapable you are at managing your own life and how lost you would be without them.
Once you get used to their pampering, you will ultimately become over-dependent on them for your needs. You may find yourself incapable of doing things and making decisions alone. So, you will be compelled to follow them as they are so helpful.
Narcissists don’t like boredom. When they feel monotony with their life, female narcissists can get turned on by cheating. When they successfully trick someone into believing their act or lies, it will give them a high as it’s an assurance now that they can do it repeatedly.
Also, having more than one partner in their life means controlling more than one person and love to control.
Even though they don’t intend to be unfaithful, if you are not feeding her ego, she will easily go into the arms of the man who will. Female narcissists may give into the advances of other men if they act obedient and dependent while giving all the attention they need.
Even though you find out about their mischief and confront them, they will blame you. They will find ways to place the entire blame on you and play the victim card. They use their sexuality to their advantage.
14) Social Media Validation:
These days, Social media has become a breeding ground for validation and attention-seeking behaviors; with just a few clicks, one can upload carefully curated photos, highlight reels of their lives, and seek recognition from virtual strangers.
For female narcissists, this platform serves as the perfect avenue to feed their insatiable need for praise and adoration.
Unlike in real-life interactions, where they may face criticism or rejection, social media offers a controlled environment that allows them to present themselves in the most favorable light. Every like and comment becomes a validation of their worth and beauty.
The relentless pursuit of attention leads these individuals to craft carefully constructed online personas that often bear little resemblance to their true selves. It’s not uncommon for female narcissists to go to great lengths to use filters, editing apps, and strategic poses to ensure they obtain the exact image they desire.
This attention-seeking on social media stems from unresolved feelings of insecurity or inadequacy. By amassing followers, female narcissists attempt to fill an internal void, hoping that external recognition will somehow make up for any perceived deficits within themselves.
15) Competition And Being Superior To Others:
Competition is an inherent part of human nature, and for some, it becomes a driving force that fuels their determination to be superior to others. While being competitive can motivate and push individuals to achieve greater heights, it can also have negative consequences when taken to extreme levels.
For a female narcissist, competition is not merely about winning or excelling but about being seen as the best among her peers.
The desire for superiority drives a female narcissist on multiple fronts – career, relationships, appearance – she wants to outshine everyone around her. However, manipulation tactics like sabotaging others’ prospects to maintain her perceived superiority set her apart from healthy competitors.
Narcissists thrive on admiration and attention and seek out relationships only to feed their egos and fulfill their validation. So, understanding the mind of a female narcissist is important to recognize their behavior patterns and deal with them effectively.
The ego plays a huge role in their behavior and actions, and they will feed off your love for them.
If you want to turn on a female narcissist, you have to be patient about controlling behavior and do things like validate her and make her feel good by flattering her. Give her lavish gifts and a luxurious lifestyle.