Have you ever felt like the person you are dating doesn’t think you’re good enough for them? It’s a terrible feeling, and unfortunately, it’s not uncommon. Sometimes, our insecurities can get the best of us and make us feel like we’re not worthy of someone’s love and affection. Everything may look perfect initially, but our partners may show these signs with time.
This can happen in long-term relationships or even in marriage, and there is no point in staying in a relationship with someone who doesn’t value you. In this article, we will explore some common signs that your partner may be giving off that suggests they don’t think you’re good enough for them.
19 Signs He Thinks You’re Not Good Enough
It is always important to detect these signs as early as possible so that you can decide to do what’s best for you. Keep in mind that these signs are not definitive proof that your partner feels this way, but they can give you insight into their thoughts and feelings toward the relationship.
1) He Doesn’t Respect Your Opinions:
If your guy constantly dismisses your opinions and never takes them seriously, it is highly probable that he thinks you are not smart enough to have valid opinions.
Have you ever felt you must constantly explain yourself whenever you try to contribute to a conversation? Felt like he devalues you, and all you get are cynicism and contempt?
If so, your partner thinks you are not good enough for them, so they always discard your opinions.
2) He constantly Insults or Mock You:
If your partner constantly insults you and blames you for your actions, beliefs, and thoughts, it’s a sign that he thinks you are not good enough for him.
You can see his disgust when you try to express your belief.
He may body shame you by saying you should probably lose some weight cause you are ugly or unattractive.
3) He Puts You Down In Front Of Other People:
His mocking goes further with no boundaries, and his mocking will go from private to public.
He even starts to mock you in front of other people, and at this stage, no one needs to tell you that your partner doesn’t respect you. Staying in an abusive relationship will only hurt you and damage you. However, if you still want to stay in and give him another chance, you can try telling him to keep private matters private so that you can discuss your issues personally without an audience.
But if he continues disrespecting you in front of others, there is no point in staying with him.
4) He Is Egotistical:
Misogynistic men don’t see women as their equals; they only see them as a means to an end. If your man is one of them, he will see you as if you are only to cook or clean or for sex or all of the above, and he won’t see you as “good enough” unless you are willing to bow down and submit to him.
You can see that he always has to be right, even when it’s clear that he’s wrong. It’s because he thinks he’s smarter and obviously more important than you.
5) He Has No Interest In Resolving Things With You:
When a person values you and your relationship, they will try to compromise and resolve conflicts if there are any. They will work with you to sort out any misunderstandings because they don’t want to lose you. Seeing their actions and efforts, you can feel that they genuinely want to be with you.
On the other hand, when your partner sees you only as a liability, they won’t even bother trying to make amends because they reached a point where it doesn’t matter if you stay or leave.
At this stage, even if you compromise, there are chances that they will not hesitate to walk over you when they get their chance.
6) He Praises Other Women While Criticizing You:
If your partner compares you to other women or compares certain qualities of yours to theirs, only to talk ill about you, then his intentions are pretty transparent.
Men who praise other women while criticizing you or reminiscing their happy moments with their ex in unhealthy ways while ignoring your presence are a huge sign that they think you are not good enough for them. So, they even try to motivate you to be like someone else.
If you often hear him saying things like, “I wish your shape (and body) could look like that of Rose.” This is a sign he wants to change you. It’s clear your boyfriend is telling you he wants something more than you already have.
Also Read: Why Do Guys Cheat Early In A Relationship?
Nothing hits your self-esteem and security as badly as dating a guy who doesn’t accept you for who you are. It’s a glaring red flag when your partner constantly points out something in you that needs to change.
You will be better off being with someone who doesn’t insist you act to match up with the hypothetical image of an ideal girlfriend they conjure up in their head.
7) He Hurts You Everyday:
If you feel like every single day is a struggle with this man and you don’t even understand why the argument or fight begins unexpectedly, it can indicate that he doesn’t cherish you. Another important sign is he won’t even feel the need to apologize or make you feel better when he can clearly see you’re hurting.
Couples tend to be more playful with one another as their relationship progress, and a little teasing can be good for a relationship, but put-downs can be devastating for your self-esteem.
There is a thin line between flirtatious, playful teasing and saying hurtful, demeaning comments. He constantly criticizes you, excusing his hurtful remarks by claiming he is just trying to help you overcome your faults. But he only talks about your flaws or points out your insecurities.
8) He Doesn’t Apologize When He Hurts You:
There is nothing wrong with being a little rough around the edges. When you are in a relationship, you’ll inevitably hurt each other’s feelings knowingly or unknowingly at some point in time.
However, when this happens, a good partner apologizes and tries to sort things right. But if your guy never apologizes for the things he hurt you or when he gaslights you, then it can mean that he is looking down at you.
In this case, you can see that he completely ignores your pain and acts like nothing happened. He doesn’t think you deserve an apology and won’t even try to improve things.
9) He Doesn’t Acknowledge Your Needs And Feelings:
For a relationship to be healthy, partners should be aware of each other needs and feelings.
But when your partner doesn’t think you’re good enough for him, he won’t care to acknowledge things that make you feel better. He doesn’t care to work on his vices and improve himself because he thinks you don’t deserve more than he already is.
He will be selfish, focusing on his own needs while ignoring yours. Even if you communicate the same, he will immediately dismiss your concerns or tell you you are only overreacting.
10) You Feel Like You Are Running A Rat Race:
Are you constantly trying to prove to him how dope you are as a person? So much so that you don’t even know whether you are happy anymore cause you’re so worried about if he still loves you.
If you feel like nothing you do is enough, you constantly try to make him happy with all you can, but still, it’s never enough, and you will feel emotionally and mentally drained. It will always be you who gives in and tries to make the relationship work, and at times, you even feel like you are with a child.
If your happiness is no longer a priority because you are too worried about how his feelings for you, then he definitely doesn’t think you’re “good enough.“
11) He Doesn’t Talk About A Future With You:
When a man wants a future with you, he may talk about it with you and include you in his future. So, if you see him automatically change the subject every time you mention family or marriage, he has no intention of making you his lady, like ever.
He doesn’t see himself being with you for long, so he laughs it off every time you ask for commitment or a long-term relationship.
12) You Feel Invisible:
You will feel invisible when he is around, even more when there are other people. You have to fight for his attention, he tries to skip introducing you to others, and when he does, you can see it’s only half-hearted.
When a man doesn’t want to acknowledge the existence of you, then why would he think highly of you? He won’t behave like he is proud to have you in his life. He will avoid you and devise lame excuses for his absence.
13) He Rarely Misses You:
If your partner doesn’t attempt to contact you when you are away for a trip or doesn’t bother to know whether you are safe and have boarded your bus/plane, you can say that he doesn’t care much about you.
If your partner genuinely loves you, he will keep tabs on you to make sure that you’re okay and you’re moving around safely. So if he lacks concern and doesn’t miss you, they have no affection for you.
14) You Can’t Remember The Last Time He Said He Loves You:
Always pay attention to people’s behavior and their body language. Words can lie but not actions. Observe whether your partner tells you he loves you or comes from the heart. You know your answer if he never acknowledges your love or conveniently changes the topic whenever you do.
Although some may not say ‘I love you,’ they express it subtly. But if your partner used to say it in the past and not anymore, then clearly something has changed. If a man loves you, he will make sure you know it. He shows you how much he cares about you in many little ways.
His lack of words can indicate that you are not good enough for his love and affection.
15) He Never Seems Happy Around You:
You may wonder why he always looks happy around other people, like his friends and family, but he won’t be the same with you.
You will rarely find him smiling when talking with you, and he always prefers to have someone join in when you both are alone so that he won’t feel bored. You can see that he doesn’t enjoy your company.
16) He Never Appreciates You:
Suppose your guy rarely has anything good to say about you and cunningly ignores your achievements and pretends that nothing about you is worth talking about. In that case, it’s not a healthy relationship.
In a good relationship, both parties always support each other and motivate each other to become better persons and excel in every field.
17) He Doesn’t Introduce You To His Friends And Family:
If a guy doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family, it can be a sign that he thinks that you are not in his league. He will keep you hidden away from his social circle. Although it’s possible that he is shy, when other signs in this list complement this sign, it means he is ashamed of being seen with you.
He even tells you something like, “Let’s not tell anyone about us being together” because he thinks they’ll judge him for dating someone like you.
So, pay attention to how he introduces you to other people and consider it a red flag If he never says your name or refers to you as ‘just friend.’
18) He Doesn’t Include You In His Plans:
If your man never includes you in his plans and always goes everywhere (like vacations) with his friends, then it’s a sign that he thinks you’re not good enough for him.
When your partner doesn’t want you around while he is having fun, and if you feel abandoned even when you are with him, it’s not a good sign.
It means the same when he makes plans without even asking about your availability because he doesn’t respect your individuality and sees you as his subordinate.
Also Read: No Contact While On Vacation (Is It Normal?)
19) You Can’t Remember Why You Fell In Love With Him:
After so much emotional abuse, you can’t even remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. Every moment will be emotional or mental torture, but please understand this is not normal.
No matter how old the relationship is, it should not be painful. If you feel miserable every day because of your partner, then it’s a toxic relationship, and consider that he is not valuing you.
20) He Always Talks About Other Girls Around You:
If you see him constantly talking about other girls, like how hot they are or the clothes they are wearing, or worse, flirting with them, then you can take the hint that he wants to be with someone else and feel that he is stuck.
A guy would never do these things when he respects you and thinks that you are good enough for him. He is only talking about others because he feels like he missed out.
21) He Is Always Trying To Change You:
Do you feel that nothing you do is ever right, and are you sick of being corrected?
There’s a chance your boyfriend isn’t satisfied with you if he continuously corrects you and judges you for every mistake you make.
If he doesn’t like how you dress, you talk, your personality, the way you act around others, or even how you wear your hair, he is belittling you. You can see that he is always trying to change you, and it’s a clear sign.
22) He Is Always Ready To End Things With You:
If your partner is always ready to end things and break up with you or talks about how he is not ready for a relationship, it’s a sign too.
When you argue, he would constantly say something along the lines of “I mean, if you don’t like it you know you can leave, right?” That is a big red flag that he thinks you’re not good enough. A man unwilling to fight for you doesn’t value you or what you bring to the table.
So, take this as a sign and leave unless you want to remain miserable for the rest of your life.
23) He Takes More Than He Gives:
Basically, any human interaction or relationship is a give-and-take, and it should be balanced so that both parties will be beneficial in the end. But if you feel your guy is always taking from you and never gives anything back, expects you to be always available for him while he isn’t for you, then it’s a sign that he thinks you are not good enough for him.
It’s not fair to treat someone like this or let someone treat this to you. Stand up to yourself. No one comes on a winged horse to save you.
24) He Will Tell You
Just because he thinks poorly of you doesn’t necessarily mean he won’t care about your feelings.
When a man doesn’t like you and thinks you are not worth enough, he will probably tell you because he doesn’t think you are worth his efforts.
25) You Are Reading This Article:
It’s interesting how intuitive we are; you are here for a reason. If a small part of you is actually questioning this and you are looking for answers, the probability is that deep down, you already know the answer and are looking for validation.
Focus on your feelings and do what your heart says. Don’t try to fool yourself.
Also Read: Why Do Guys Like Virgins?
What To Do When Your Partner Thinks You Are Not Good Enough:
If you have noticed some of these signs and are convinced he thinks you are not good enough for him, you can follow these steps.
Talk To Him:
We never suggest people give up on relationships right away unless they are too toxic and there is no way that the relationship is going anywhere. You should try to water the relationship and see if you can make it alive.
Try talking to him. Communicate your feelings so that he won’t feel offended and yet get the message. Listen to what he says and be open and receptive to his feelings.
If you feel love from his side, too, you may consider remedying and working on the relationship together.
Attend Couples’ Counseling:
After passing through a period of negligence, the relationship cannot be rebuilt in a day. Having a professional’s help will definitely help to rekindle the love which you felt missing before.
So, if there is hope and both of you are committed to rebuilding the relationship, then consider taking a counseling program designed for couples. During this phase, you need to talk and figure out what has happened that you both fell apart and find the solutions to reconnect.
Even after multiple conversations and attempts to fix the relationship, if you feel that he is still genuinely not interested in making it work, then it’s better to move on, as he is only buying his time with his excuses.
Probably he has already moved on but didn’t say it yet. In this case, trying to win him back may not be worthwhile. It’s like trying to catch a train that has already passed away.
Do not wait to be saved. The only person who can save yourself is You.
Understand that when your partner makes you feel that you are not good enough, it has everything to do with them and nothing to do about you. If he consistently shows a lack of appreciation, criticizes you, puts you down, fails to acknowledge and give credit where credit is due, and even compares you with others. Those are warning signs you should never ignore.
“The right person elevates our best and soothes our worst.”
If he thinks your best isn’t good enough, then your worst is probably too much for him to bear. His actions can leave you feeling unlovable, and you will continue to attract the same kind of guys, land in unhealthy relationships, and spend your entire life chasing validation. So, it’s time to move on from that relationship and find someone that values you for who you really are.
We are sorry if you have noticed one or many of the signs hold true in your relationship. We suggest you leave and find someplace safe away from this person for your own sanity. Consider therapy or counseling if you are really confused and don’t know how to proceed. They will give you coping mechanisms and tools to help you take the right steps.
We advise you to take a break and stay off the dating scene for a while to develop a better self-image and self-esteem because going into the dating scene with low self-esteem sets you up to be preyed upon by others. You’ve got to learn how to love yourself first and remind yourself of how amazing you are. Always remember that you deserve the love you receive and the love you offer.