If you’re in a relationship, it’s important to know that your partner is really interested in you and not just using you for their own selfish needs. One of the most common ways people use others is by taking advantage of their goodness and living situation.
You might be seeing this guy for a while now who seemed like a nice guy, and when he told you that he was going through a rough patch and needed someplace to stay until he got back on his feet, you allowed him to stay at your place.
But after some days of seeing his behavior, you may start to wonder whether he is using you for a place to live or cares about you. If you are wondering whether your boyfriend is using you for a place to live, here are some signs that might help you determine whether or not he is sincere about your relationship or if he just wants a place to live.
Signs He Is Using You For A Place To Live
It’s important to recognize these warning signs early on to protect yourself from being taken advantage of by someone who only sees you as a means to an end.
1) They Never Contribute Financially:
One of the biggest red flags that a man is using you for a place to live is his lack of financial contribution. If he never offers to pay rent or utilities and always has an excuse for why he can’t contribute financially, then it’s likely that he’s taking advantage of your generosity.
They don’t bother contributing to household expenses such as rent, utilities, groceries, or even basic cleaning supplies. It’s important to remember that living expenses can add up quickly, and if you are the only one managing them, it can strain your finances.
2) They Avoid Talking About Long-term Plans:
Talking about the future is normal when you’re in a relationship, not necessarily about marriage or kids but even things like buying a house together or planning a vacation.
Suppose your partner isn’t displaying any plan of living together or not discussing anything about future commitments. In that case, it may indicate that they see your relationship as only temporary – and are just looking for a convenient place to stay until something better comes along.
They may even view their stay with you as an opportunity to save money and avoid responsibility. This behavior will create tension in the relationship, eventually leading to resentment and dissatisfaction.
If they never discuss future plans with you beyond living arrangements and don’t express any interest in building a life together, then you know what to do.
3) They Don’t Seem Invested In Making The Space Feel Like Home:
When someone truly cares about the place (home) they live in, they usually take pride in decorating and arranging their space just how they like it. If your partner is not interested in creating a comfortable home environment with you, it might suggest that their focus is elsewhere.
They might just see it as a temporary crash pad until they find something better and don’t even care about making the space feel like home. They won’t do it because they know they won’t stay long.
You can tell this if your partner doesn’t seem interested in decorating or personalizing the space, refusing to participate in household chores, etc. A man who plans for the long term will try to make the space feel like home and put their stamp on it.
When your boyfriend doesn’t see your place as more than just a roof over their head, they are definitely using you for convenience rather than planning a genuine relationship with you.
4) They Don’t Respect Boundaries Around Shared Spaces:
Living together requires respecting each other’s personal space and belongings. Mutual respect and considering each other’s needs are essential when a couple lives together. But if you notice your boyfriend uses your belongings without permission, invades your personal space, and brings in guests without even asking, it’s a sign that they see you as only the source of shelter.
When someone doesn’t respect boundaries in shared spaces, it will cause discomfort in the living situation. In such an instance, you will feel like you’re constantly cleaning up after them and walking on eggshells just to avoid any possible drama. Don’t be afraid to confront him. It’s important to set clear prior expectations and communicate openly about how you want shared spaces to be used and maintained.
If your partner still continues to disregard your boundaries, you need to reevaluate whether they are truly interested in being a respectful roommate or simply taking advantage of your living arrangements.
Also Read: Signs His Ex Is Jealous Of You
5) They Are Always Looking For A Way Out:
If your partner is always looking for a way out of your living arrangement, it could be a red flag that they are temporarily using you for a place to live. You can observe that they constantly talk about wanting their own place or express dissatisfaction with the current living arrangement. This behavior can indicate that they are not fully committed to the relationship and are only staying for convenience.
He will never show interest in having some quality time with you. Instead, he prefers nights out or having fun with their buddies somewhere.
If that guy really loves you, he would be more than happy to sit around the house together because there’s nothing better than simply being together.
6) They Don’t Help You In Doing Chores:
If he never takes out the trash, does dishes, or pitches in with household repairs, your man might be taking advantage of you. A healthy relationship involves both parties contributing equally in all aspects of life together. And his unwillingness to help with household chores or maintenance shows that he does not see himself as an equal partner in the relationship.
If you feel like you are the one doing all the work while he lounges around your home leisurely all day, then it may be time to reconsider whether this relationship is worth pursuing any further. You need a man. Not a child.
7) They Don’t Seem Invested In You:
If you are living with someone who doesn’t seem to be invested in you, it may be a sign that they are using you for a place to live. If this is the case, you can notice your partner seems distant, emotionally unavailable, or uninterested in your life and hobbies.
They don’t even show interest in spending time with you or getting to know you better. On top of this, they will also avoid making long-term plans or commitments with you and prioritize their needs and wants above yours. They are not invested in the relationship beyond having a roof over their head, and you don’t feel valued.
When someone truly cares about their partner, they make them feel loved, appreciated, and special. If your partner doesn’t care for your well-being and happiness, what’s the point of being in a relationship with him? You deserve better.
8) They Don’t Show Gratitude Or Appreciation:
Another sign that your partner uses you for a place to live is their lack of gratitude or appreciation towards you. If your boyfriend/ partner constantly takes advantage of your hospitality without showing any signs of thankfulness, then it could mean they are simply using you for your living space.
When someone truly cares about their partner and values their efforts to maintain a household, they will express gratitude and appreciation.
9) They Aren’t Interested In Your Daily Life:
They won’t show interest in knowing about your day or how you feel, even if you look stressed. They won’t question you even when you seem to be crossing boundaries and doing something fishy. Even if you go clubbing every night, your boyfriend won’t care as long as you accommodate him.
Also Read: Can A Man Forget A Woman He Slept With?
But on the other hand, when a man loves you, he will want to know what you’re up to, not in a controlling way, but in a caring way. He wants to know about your plans for the day because he loves and cares about you.
They don’t even consider your living situation. If your guy is not interested in running the house or about things like how much the rent is or when rent is due, it could indicate that he just sees you as a free room.
10) They Only Talk About Their Problems:
A man who loves and cares about his woman will want to know all about her, her dreams, interests, life experiences, and even how she spends time when she isn’t with him. But a guy who sees you only as a place to live will pretend to care about you to get what he wants from you.
You can observe that he won’t be there for you when you need him, but he suddenly makes himself available when he wants something. He is only interested in spending time with you when it benefits him.
He always complains about the problems in his life and doesn’t even consider acknowledging your efforts or struggles. For him, you are a free room. That’s it.
11) They Seem Like They Are Just Using Your Place As A Hotel:
When your boyfriend is just using you for a place to live, you can sense he is just using your apartment/ house as a hotel. He acts as if he is a guest at your place, even after living for a couple of weeks or months.
He expects you to cook, clean, and do all sorts of things to make his life easier. But he will never contribute anything in return. He doesn’t even bother to take out the trash, even when you ask him to. And he behaves as if he doesn’t understand even after you have tried telling him this multiple times. This is a big red flag.
If he’s living with you but never lifts a finger around the house, then he’s not living with you. It’s unfair to make one person do all the chores while living with them, even if you split the bills.
If you find these signs, don’t let someone take advantage of you and use your home as their private hotel room!
12) They Do Not Attempt To Find A Place Of Their Own:
When you agreed to his moving in, the arrangement might suppose to be a temporary one. But now, even after living with you for several months or even years without ever attempting to get his place, chances are that he is milking the free ride.
Your idea for a temporary solution now seems like it’s forever. He will probably never make an effort to move out because that was his plan all along.
Why would he move out when he gets a free place to live with free food and no responsibilities or expenses?
On top of that, he is also using you for his sexual needs. Sex is another freebie he has been enjoying at your expense, and he has no plans for a long-term commitment in his mind.
13) They Don’t Have An Active Job:
If your guy doesn’t have an active job and spends all his time on a sofa watching TV or playing video games, it can mean he is not serious about his life and just enjoying the perks that come along with you being your boyfriend.
You can see he doesn’t have a job and isn’t actively looking for one, either.
After all, what’s the point of working hard when there are so many benefits to being unemployed?
Men like these can be found a lot in this big bad world. It’s up to you to stay alert and avoid getting into situations like this. If you are already with a boyfriend who is using you, you better act now before it affects you in different ways.
14) Everyone Of Your Friend Thinks They Are Scamming You:
Everyone from your friends’ circle who knows about him thinks he’s scamming you for a place to stay.
They would say things like: “He’s just using you for a place to stay,” or “You’re so sweet and innocent, but he is using you.”
If every person in your inner circle thinks he’s a scammer, then maybe they’re right, and you should listen to their advice.
They’re not in love, so they’re not blinded by love and are likely to be more rational than you on this subject.
If your partner seems more interested in their living situation than building a strong and healthy relationship with you, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation about your concerns. It’s possible that there may be underlying issues causing them stress or anxiety related to housing and finances. Or they are simply unaware of how their behavior affects you and the relationship.
However, if these behaviors continue despite attempts at communication and compromise, it may be time to reevaluate whether this person is truly right for you.
Do not let someone take advantage of your kindness and generosity without any commitment or appreciation in return.
But before confronting him with such an allegation, pay attention to these signs and conclude only if you see more than a couple of clear signs.