When a guy says he wants you, it can be both exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. It’s important to take the time to think about how you want to respond so that both of you feel comfortable with the outcome.
In this article, we will discuss some helpful tips on how to respond when a guy says he wants you. We’ll also discuss understanding your own feelings, considering what the guy is looking for, and setting healthy boundaries for yourself.
First, let’s try to understand the motive of a guy when he says he wants you.
Reasons Why A Guy Says He Wants You:
The first and foremost reason a guy says he wants you is that he desires you. However, additional factors may affect the underlying meaning, such as the nature of your relationship, how long you have been dating (if you are), the situation when he said that, and so on.
Here, we will give you some more probable reasons.
1) He Likes You:
When some guy says he wants you, it means that he likes you, as he would not say it if he didn’t have a passion for you. But you have to take a moment and figure out how lasting this passion might be. There is always the chance that this guy’s obsession with you made him so hot that he tells you he wants you.
But before making any decisions, you should test the consistency of his efforts. Does he stay longer in the hope even when you don’t reciprocate his love? Is he happy in your presence and misses your absence? Or just want you like some girl? When you question yourself like these and observe, you may know his honest feelings and intentions.
2) He Lusts You (He is Horny):
Sometimes when guys are horny, they will hit on every potential chance they think that they can have. So, there are chances that he wants to get laid on you but could not articulate better in his words. You can observe his eyes and body language and take clues from there.
If he is smiling and you see some care in his eyes, he has a thing for you, or if he is just desperate and aggressive, it’s his hormones. Even though he is in a relationship, he would cheat on his girlfriend if you feel the same. But you won’t be important to him other than a digit in his body count.
Remember, he would most likely not dump his girlfriend and take you as a partner but would enjoy you between the sheets if you fall for his tactics. Doing the right things with the right people and at the right time is always advisable.
3) He Misunderstood Your Intentions:
- When He Is Your Boyfriend’s Bestfriend:
Maybe he and your boyfriend happened to be best buddies, and you might have taken his side, occasionally opposing your boyfriend out of a soft corner. He got confused about your availability to help nature or felt like you were accompanying him around the clock when you were just trying to be with your boyfriend.
On the other hand, if you are genuinely interested in this guy too and have adulterated feelings because he is either more attractive than your boyfriend or understands you the way your boyfriend fails to do, you have to act carefully. If you cheat behind your boyfriend who trusted you or dumped him for his best friend, things may get complicated even more if that other guy is in a relationship too.
First of all, that guy wouldn’t respect you as he sees you as a girl who can cheat or dump her boyfriend when he finds a better option. He may not tell you it openly, but he will always remember this and do the same to you at his first chance. Until then, he will use you as a means to satiate his carnal desires and see you only as an object of his lust.
You cannot even blame him because of your past, and he may even blame you for losing his girlfriend and best friend in one stroke.
- When You Are His Girlfriend’s Bestfriend:
Some guys are players, even though they are in relationships. They may act cool and committed around their girlfriends and later sleeps with every female they can get. In these cases, it means that though he is with his girlfriend, he yearns for you too, either because he finds you attractive or emotionally compatible.
Remember that messing with your best friend’s boyfriend will make you infamous. You may do it if your best friend breaks up with the guy without you playing a hand in it. But if you do it too soon after the breakup, it means you already have a thing and just waiting for their breakup.
4) He Wants To See Your Reaction:
Probably, that guy is just testing you to see your reaction. It could be either that he feels strongly for you or just out of curiosity. In both scenarios, the guy is trying to figure out where he stands with you.
5) He Wants You To Take Him More Seriously:
Maybe you have been friend zone him for a while or only see him as a best friend and have been negligent even though he is trying to hit on you indirectly. So, he wanted to come out in the open and express his feelings which will make you think about him more seriously.
It’s not too shocking when the guy starts catching feelings for you, especially when you are good-looking and have been bonding great as best friends. This can be a critical point as you have to choose what your heart wants at risk of losing a friend. But you should always follow your heart and never let yourself be emotionally blackmailed by someone.
6) He Afraids That He Lose You:
It is the human tendency to fall in love with someone that comforts us, and when someone sees you as a part of their comfort zone, they will fear to let you go. So, their fear urges them to make the bond permanent so that they can keep you closer. When it’s fear that motivates someone instead of love, the tendency to be vulnerable is at its peak.
The relationship will be too demanding as you are expected to be available round the clock. He will not like it if your personality changes at some point of time during your relationship. So before making your call, know what your heart wants and never be afraid to say no politely if it’s not what you want.
7) You Are Popular:
Every guy dreams of dating the popular girl in the town. And if you are one with hundreds of friends, great networking skills, and thousands of followers on Instagram, most guys would go mad for you. But most of the cannot express their wish to you due to the fear of rejection, and it will be only done by a few confident guys who think they are a good match because they are either popular too or filthy rich.
So, if you decide to date, you must be sure about his intentions. If he is just a rich kid looking for candy, he will taste you and then dump you. Always observe and question yourself “Does he holds a genuine interest in you or just want a playmate? before taking any decision.
8) You Are A Hot Chick (Have The Perfect Figure):
When you have the perfect sexy figure, guys will get hot for you. They will drool over your body and pass all naughty comments when they see you. Here it clearly means that they want to have a good time with you, and most of the time, it’s nothing to do with your heart, character, or personality.
When you are too sexy, your body can be your enemy, too, as you cannot tell if someone really likes you or just shows interest so that he can get into your panties. Always pay special attention to how a guy treats you, and be very picky while choosing partners. Because, at the end of the day, when there is darkness, and you need to hold someone’s hand or lean on someone’s shoulders, it is honesty and the integrity of character that matters.
9) He Needs You As A Friend:
Don’t overanalyze the situation; maybe he needs you to be with him as a good friend. Maybe he is feeling low, heartbroken, or had an argument with his life partner and wants someone to share his grief with. Friendship can be the best relationship one can have and need not take any other form.
Being a good friend, you can allow him to vent out, be patient, and be a good listener. Sometimes guys fail to get these from their girlfriends or family as they try to look strong. You can be gentle and give him some time so that he can be normal and lead his life again.
How To React When A Guy Says He Wants You?
First, you need to understand the guy’s motive and answer based on your liking or disliking of the guy. To give you an idea, here we have curated a few prompts and responses so that you can understand and make the right decision by giving an appropriate response in the given situation.
When You Like Him:
If you like the guy, obviously, you will be inclined to say that you want him too. However, this might not be a proper communication method if you have not known each other for a long time.
1) You Are Friends:
Let’s say you are friends and had friends zoned each other initially. But then this guy caught feelings for you, so eventually, there is potential in the proposal. If this is the case, do not hesitate to ask him why he had friend zoned you first and the reason why he has a change in his feelings.
If he gives a clear answer and you feel he isn’t making the whole thing up, you can share your feelings with him. Dating your friend who has been there in your life for a while and shares the same wavelength and the chapter of life with you can turn into the most romantic relationship you have ever been in.
2) You Are Best Friends:
If that guy is your best friend, it means that you have known each other for a long time and you are comfortable with him. Don’t panic, as it is not unnatural, and he wouldn’t have proposed to you if you weren’t single or happily committed to another. So take the opportunity to hear his side of the story and share your thoughts too.
If you have thought of dating your best friend at some point in time but couldn’t as he was committed, use this as your wild card for a new possibility. If you never imagined your best friend to be your boyfriend, then you can consider how it will be if you are ok with it.
If you aren’t comfortable with the idea, then you can say no but take your time and try to put it out in your best way, as you don’t want to risk losing your best friend.
3) You Are Colleagues:
If you are colleagues and like each other, you have to be careful, as workplace romances are like playing Russian Roulette. Dating a colleague is always dicey and can jeopardize your career. You don’t want to be a part of your ‘office gossip.’
Suppose there is another guy with the same (secret) feelings for you at the office, and when you choose one against another, it can impact your relationships at work, and when that person rejected/ ignored person is your boss, it will be even worse. This will also create enmity between those two men as they will see each other as rivals.
Hence, we advise you to keep your relationship private if it is with your colleague and not disclose it at once. Take due time to get to know each other and find yourselves comfortable in each other’s skin.
4) You Are Strangers:
If you had just met this guy on social media/ dancing bar/ pub, he is obviously still a stranger to you. Dating a stranger without knowing much about him or doing a background check can sound desperate and show your carelessness.
Getting to know each other and familiarizing yourself before doing anything like dating is advised. But if it’s all about a casual fling/sleepover and you do not care about the relationship’s longevity, then at least go for a few dates before it. You cannot sleep with everyone; it’s not shaking hands.
You may get yourself into trouble if you trust strangers and do stupid things.
5) You Are Friend Of Friends:
If you are friends of friends, it means you know each other but not enough to be close to each other. In this case, it’s more infatuation than love; that’s why he said, “I want you” rather than “I love you.”
If you have a thing for him, too, then take your call and give it a try. Do not involve your mutual friend here, as you would later blame them if there are complications in the future.
When You Don’t Like Him:
If you don’t like a guy who wants to get intimate with you, saying that he wants you can make you feel disgusted or even get the urge to put them down in the face. However, that should be your last resort. There is no need to be disrespectful or impolite for everything.
1) Politely Make An Excuse:
If you don’t like the guy who is trying to advance with you, then politely make an excuse and leave there. When you don’t hate that guy, then there is no need to be rude. If someone says ‘I want you’ in an online chat, you can also excuse yourself and take leave.
This tactic comes in handy when you don’t want to be rude or when you don’t know what you want yet. By doing this, you can buy some time to think about it and come to a conclusion.
Also Read: How To Walk Away From Being A Side Chick?
2) Don’t Encourage Him:
If someone approaches with that statement, there is no need to engage/ interact with them. If you respond to their statement, they might think that they have a chance. Giving false hopes is not a good idea, and you should never lead someone into loving you when you don’t have any such intentions.
One-sided love can be very painful that it can eat a man and his soul. Being indifferent can be a way to ignore a stranger, but if you feel it is too cold, you can try other options discussed here.
3) Tell Him You Are Not Interested:
No approach is simpler and cleat than turning it away politely. It cuts off all the drama and the wastage of your time. You can also give him reasons for your response, as some men will keep insisting unless you give them a valid reason.
Explain to him that you are not interested in hookups or relationships because of your other commitments or issues.
4) Tell Him You Have A Boyfriend:
When you want to get rid of a guy who is pestering you, and ignoring him is not an option, tell him you already have a boyfriend. You can do this even though you don’t have one to stop him from following you.
You can take the help of someone if he bothers you, irrespective of what you say to him.
When a guy comes up and tells you, “I want you,” simply take it as a compliment. Do not overthink or react if there is no need for such things. Remember that only our birth and death are the only actions in our life; everything else is our reactions. Our entire life is just our reactions to this world. As much as you can cut these reactions, such will be your peace levels and the quality of your life.
So try not to react to every small thing around you. At the same time, do not hesitate to communicate your thoughts when necessary. Life is the art of balance.