People and their mindsets have been changing with time. In this era of one-night stands and casual flings, getting intimate casually without any feelings and making out with every person they get a chance is more of a norm. Some of you might have wondered whether you can kiss your best friend or if everything works to have sex with them.
Do Best Friends Kiss? Is a Kiss Too Much?
Many people show their affection to their close ones in the form of hugs and kisses. So, many wonder whether they can kiss their best friend of the opposite gender while showing love and friendship towards them. The question is complicated and simple at the same time. It depends on the relationship and understanding between you two (you and your best friend).
Let’s see some factors to understand whether it’s considered crossing the line to kiss your best friend.
1) Place of Kiss:
As kissing always has some meaning, we should be mindful of how and where we kiss. This difference is seen by where the kiss occurs, i.e., on the cheek versus lips. Even an “air kiss” is about showing closer relationships and affection or warmth, but a kiss on the mouth is mainly reserved for a romantic relationship.
Differentiation has a lot to do with the location and duration of the kiss. So, any attempt to kiss on the mouth when you are not in a relationship can be considered inappropriate and a violation of boundaries.
2) Their Culture and Background:
In some cultures and regions, platonic kissing is an established part, but definitely on the lips. However, platonic kisses can vary from person to person, culture to culture, and even friend group to friend group. So please beware that it can breach many people’s boundaries, personal space, or cultural norms. Most importantly, we cannot impose our traditions and cultures on others, insisting they should also experience them the way we do.
Communication is essential. Openly communicate with (your) friend to see what each of you wants out of your friendship and put some boundaries together instead of just going by what society has dictated a friendship needs to be. Some of the worst boundaries are the ones that are neither stated nor acknowledged, so make sure to put boundaries that are communicated and respected.
Remember, everyone’s friendships are different. There is no shame in friends deciding and agreeing on how they want to define and experience their relationship. But don’t do anything against your conscience, as it can chew and eat you later.
Women are more sensitive than men, no matter how modern and casual they look. She will live with this incident and feel it’s unworthy of having a male friend again in a close circle. So remember that you are not only putting your friendship at stake but also the girl’s relationship and vulnerabilities.
If you really consider her your best friend, you shouldn’t mind sacrificing your dirty fantasy. Give it some time and live your life; one day, you will come out of this very soon.
Put this energy into accomplishing something that might positively impact your future. Set career goals and watch yourself be successful at them.
5) When You Want Her to Be Your Girlfriend:
Moving from besties to being lovers is possible, but you have to be careful. If you have feelings for her that way, you should talk about it or shut down your thoughts before developing and conquering your mind.
Be honest with yourself if your feelings grow, and be straightforward with what your heart’s telling you, and if you still want to transition your relationship, then carefully plan your moves, as the very act will change the dynamics of your friendship.
You might have romantic interests in her, but she may not feel the same for you. Most importantly, she sees you and trusts you as a friend. Please don’t lose the respect she has for you.
Can You Kiss Your Female Friend?
Friends do many things to show affection to each other, and kissing can be one of them. It can indicate joy or as a part of the greeting. Sometimes kisses might happen because we are emotional for some reason and act on our feelings without giving a thought. But French kissing shouldn’t happen; that’s not really something for just friends to do.
It is ok to some extent to do things like kissing on cheeks, forehead or hugging, or other types of non-sexual physical contact. A little short kiss on the cheek conveys that you are a special friend; however, kissing on the lips is not to be considered an option because it shows a form of intimacy.
Friendship is something different and should be valued, but it’s a risk when you throw the possibility of romance (friendship meets passion). If you only lust for her, you don’t deserve her. At least be a friend.
Note: Quora or other blogs cannot tell you if it is okay for you to her. It’s her body. And she is the only person who gets to decide if it’s okay.
You should never kiss her unless you have her permission. And even if you do, engaging in any kind of physical interaction without any lasting feelings will get you nowhere.
If you like her, tell her. If you love her, tell her.
Also Read: Why Are Dating Apps So Expensive?
Know That Your Friendship May End:
If you go smooch your friend of the opposite gender out of nowhere (mainly when she is a girl), there is a more significant chance that your friendship could end.
Even if they seem to go along with it and are not shocked at your move, remember that it could change things between you for a long time, if not forever. So, ask yourself how important this friendship is to you before you do anything crazy.
We don’t like to be negative entirely. Let’s also consider the possibility that it all goes well, and you establish a fantastic romantic relationship with your good-looking best friend. When you develop a crush on your friend, it could tear you up while watching them date others when you are just another friend.
Friendship is a special kind of love. When you cross the line and start thinking romantically, it will be tough to separate things. When you think you love your best friend, you should have a conversation, but in some cases, a kiss could be a real ice-breaker that moves you two from friend territory to something more beautiful.
In such a case, learning how to kiss a friend is a better option to work into getting the one thing you want more than anything else at this moment.
How To Kiss Your Best Friend
There are several ways to kiss your best friend, and you need to tailor it to your situation. You talk it out, see how things go in the moment, and go for the cheeky drunken kiss. But whatever you choose, whether a romantic relationship with your best buddy or just want a fun-filled night, you need to act very diligently.
1) The Accidental Drunken Kiss:
The (not so) accidental drunken kiss is pretty much the safest kissing option with your best friend and get away with it. More than half the first kisses between friends happen this way, as many see it as a way of not messing up their relationships even after the kiss.
When you and your friend having a few drinks (at a party or somewhere), you just wait for the booze to kick in so that you can act like it was only accidental and had no planned motives.
Once you feel the buzz, try to get to an isolated spot with your friend and get cozy before you do what you want. Start a conversation, and if he/she is drunk too and a little flirty, it’s definitely a plus to you. While you both are exchanging sexy remarks and are high as a kite, you can be able to sneak in a quick kiss if they don’t mind.
The kiss may last a while longer if you’ve built a lot of sexual chemistry through all the body contact; it leads to more or not depending on just how attracted your friend is to you, so good luck with that!
2) The Notorious and Cheeky Game of Truth or Dare:
A kiss cannot come easier than this. So if you are trying to figure out how to kiss your friend, arrange a drinking game like ‘spin the bottle ‘or truth or dare. Sometimes, you may get a kiss or a lot more than that.
But remember that playing this game with multiple people can be dangerous and goes completely out of hand. Every time it will not go in your way and another friend may end up kissing the friend you want to kiss. And when you can’t get to kiss your friend during the game, just get drunk and go back to Step-1.
Also Read: Signs He Regrets Rejecting You
3) Kiss Them While Consoling:
This is another sneaky move that many people commonly use, and most of the time, it works well. When you or your friend have lost something of value, as good friends, you would be consoling each other. Every good friend does this when their friends are in trouble including scheming perverts like you.
So go to your friend if you think they are depressed, or even better when you call them and tell them how *depressed* you are, making sure to drop a hint about how much you’d appreciate it if they could come over to your place to cheer you up.
When they show up at your place, snuggle up, hug your friend, and stay in that position as you mumble your sorry-ass story. Explain how depressed you are; at some point, you will know that your friend is comfortable, wrapped in your hug too. Then you can slowly linger your hands here and there or just go straight for the kiss.
The kiss may last a while or a few seconds as they also feel sorry (for you), but it does not give you an excuse to try again if it doesn’t work out. In such a case, the best thing you can do is blame your sorry emotional state of mind and move on.
Note: Having said that, when your friend is really in some serious trouble and wants a shoulder to lean on at a difficult time, be there for your friend as a friend, not a lusty buddy.
4) Kiss Vis Text Flirting (Sexting):
This may be the safest and easiest way to kiss your best friend without messing things up. It happens when late-night texts eventually lead to some hot and sexual chemistry between both of you. Kissing via texting is almost always foolproof as long as you take your time and play it cool. If you are good at the wording and fooling around with your vocabulary, it will allow you to take things further considering how they are reacting at the same time.
When they are ok with it, they can proceed to do it in person too provided they see you the same way as you do.
5) Just Ask:
Just come out and ask your friend if they want to kiss you. Prepare yourself and be confident. You could ask something like, “Would it be okay if I kissed you on the lips?” Only this way, you will know what they want, and if they seem entirely disgusted by the idea, then you could probably laugh it off and say that you were just kidding.
Act timely and in a comfortable manner when you ask so that they don’t feel awkward for “yes” if they want to.
6) Confess Your Feelings:
You can also confess your feelings for them and what you want, whether it’s just wanting a kiss or beyond that. Instead of hurting your head with all the crazy thoughts, why not come out and tell them?
Yes, you are taking a risk, but only this has the power to give you the answers you seek. So, this is a risk worth taking.
It also probably ruins your friendship, but what’s the point if you are not happy just standing around and wondering ‘what if,’ telling your friend that you want to kiss them? It’s always better to take chances than to regret them later.
Note: You should be prepared to hear what you don’t want to hear.
7) Try To Move Out of the Friendzone:
As long as you are in that friend zone (red zone), they will not look at you as anything other than a friend. So, when you want to work out and try to find a way to kiss your best friend, start flirting a little and watch their reaction as the first step.
It would be best if you made them look at you as something other (more) than a friend. For doing that, you need to be pretty active with your actions. Don’t only flirt, but try things like trying a new look and observing their reaction. You can also let them know your romantic situation and be a little more touchy-feely than you usually would be.
Note: Do these things confidently, or you may seem like a pervert without a spine. Make sure you know each other well enough for her to feel comfortable around you and when the time is right, look for a private moment, test the waters with light physical contact, and lead the way by leaning forward for a tender and soft lip kiss.
8) Suggest A Friends with Benefits Arrangement:
This suggestion could be awkward but you know your friend better than anyone. If you think they would agree to this or at least think about it, you can dare to suggest this to her. In this way, you can move things forward and still be friends. As it doesn’t mean a relationship, in most cases, introducing sex into a friendship can complicate things badly.
If you still think you can handle it and use it as a stepping stone, you could suggest a friends-with-benefits situation if both of you are single and feeling a little on the lonely side.
When You Should Not Kiss Your Friend:
Now that you know some tips on how to kiss your friend, it is always advised to know when you should not kiss them.
1) When Your Friend Is Sleeping:
This is a big no. As tempting as a sleeping friend can look, you never kiss a friend when they are asleep, even if you are drunk.
There is every chance your friend will wake up and think you took advantage of her trust in you. Your other friends will see you in the same light as it’s bizarre behavior preying upon someone’s helpless situation.
2) When You Know They Don’t Respond Well:
When you know kissing your friend will not end well, and you don’t want to lose the friendship, just don’t do it. Friendship is more important than a kiss.
Go find someone else to kiss and leave your friend alone. Keep the fantasy in your mind and be a good friend to your friend.
3) When You Are Already In A Relationship:
Outside parties can always misunderstand how physical your friendship is. So when you are in a relationship or when you meet the person you want to marry at some point, that person would likely object to you having that level of friendship with someone else.
Imagine how you would feel if your significant other is fooling around with a friend of the opposite gender. That’s how your partner might feel about you too.